Practicality of life: nothing new that you do not know

As we are young, we have lot of ideals, of being truthful to ourself, faithful to others, helping those in need, respecting others irrespective of who the person is, having certain mission on life. However, in practicality of this world, many get lost and their ideals are remolded: become good to those who are good to you, money is very important (or perhaps the ultimate aim) and ask them to help the needy? They would rather earn and do some charity. This is how life works; perhaps it is the test of ideals you held once. I would never like to lose my ideals, I know I have changed a lot in past years in quite negative sense, I want to go back to the person I was, I do not want to be practical. I remember that in 10^th, 11^th class, I used to regard the phrase “being practical” as very derogatory. I do not know why I started following its path. I regret it. This world is critical of everything. You take a step in some direction; people will tell you that you are stepping in a pit. Again, I regard all this as test of your ideals. Just have faith in what you are doing; the world will be with you. Dammit, I have changed so much. I just remembered that once in a declamation contest I had talked about self esteem being so important in life. How people with strong determination just focused on their target, nothing else mattered to them. I do not say that I have any big vision in life. But yes, I do have certain goals to fulfill, how I want to see myself 10years down the line. Anyway, life goes on..tata

BAD BAD

Over the past few years, I have come to know myself much better and more I know myself, more I hate myself.

I have such poor temper and once someone gets in the net of my short temper, I make sure to make his/her life hell. This is so contrary to what Riju was once who had ideals like "behave with others the way you want them to behave with you", blah blah..This Riju aint any good.